WRITTEN WORDS AND SINS

Please do relink

2010-04-30T15:57:00.001+07:00

2010-04-28T16:50:00.001+07:00

I'm changing url, this url sounds too dark and emo-ish which doesn't suit me. But I don't know what's the url for the upcoming blog. Any ideas?

Point form

2010-04-26T20:19:00.003+07:00

I decided to update. For the past few days I've felt like this blog is holding me back, I don't feel free to write in this blog. But hey, this is my blog! and I can write anything I want, I don't care whether people read it or not, at least, I let go some of my thoughts.

My mid-exams are just over and I think I should burn my ass for the final exam.
Me and Nia have 'a movie day' every Sunday after morning walk. Refreshing.
I've been a bad, bad human being.
I couldn't control my emotions. I've been struggling to control it.
I need my dad to transfer all my files from his broken laptop.
I need new stationary.
money
shoes
and a person.

Have a nice day.

1001

2010-04-14T17:32:00.002+07:00

"There's 1001 ways to Rome", one of Indonesian famous line saying not to give up. If you try once and you fail then try again, maybe with another way. What I am trying to point out here is that there's other way, don't stuck yourself with one option. You say, fail is when you stop trying, well you see, I don't stop trying, I try to use another way. I've tried one way and it didn't work well, I stop trying at that path cause I've still got another 1000 ways to try. I'm not going to mourn over 'what I've did that didn't work well' cause life goes on, whether you like it or not.

Motivate, humor, help yourself and everybody will do the same to you.

Today's news

2010-04-12T20:14:00.002+07:00

Let's just write a normal rant. I kinda screwed up my mid exams grrh, all blame to my own stupidity. Oh, this is just so freaking normal rant. Blrrh. Okay, aren't you sick hearing the same 'bad' news everyday? about this guy corrupt the money and then there's Mr. X and other scandal reveals, about neighbor killing each other, about college students acting anarchist, about poor people dying cause they can't afford a kilogram of rice? I hate all these news. And they even have a special program to 'investigate' all this cases. I mean, I know it's good to let the rest of the nation know that poor people need help and government's corruped, but, not ALL THE TIME! I need to hear some good news, like Indonesian students got a medal from International science competition or a beautiful concert by Indonesian people being held overseas. I mean, they only publish it for less than 2 minuets on the news.

Indonesian people need to hear some motivating news, something that make them proud to be Indonesian. Not the same bad news that's not worth being watched.

Conclusion

2010-04-04T20:42:00.004+07:00

A: ....mungkin karena kita percaya sama diri kita sendiri
B: Bukan mungkin, tapi harus!

A morning conversation with a best friend.

I am a pro-stalker

2010-03-29T16:25:00.004+07:00

Just like this sky;
close yet so far.
And that's what you to me.

-

Stalk (verb)
To follow or observe (a person) persistently, especially out of obsession or derangement.
,

I just stalk one today :)

2010-03-27T20:58:00.003+07:00

Went to Icha's place today with Fidel and Ayu to do our assignment.

minus Ayu

oh, there she is! haha.

Ta da, I'm tired.

"And even if you don't see it, doesn't mean it's not there" - Small soldiers.

2010-03-26T17:29:00.003+07:00

I brought my digicam today. My intention was to capture as many pictures as I can on the way to campus and the campus itself. And yes, I was taking the pictures on the moving bus through the bus' window. That's why you can not see the clear view. My 5-year-old digicam's screen went white days ago so I can not see my final pictures, it was like using an analog camera, haha. At the end, I can captured about 58 pictures haha. I'm sorry for the bad image quality, I do not own photographer skills or techniques neither I own a very good camera. I just like to take random shots. So here we go.

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me?
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

Somewhere only we know- Keane

don't worry, I won't stop

2010-03-25T16:54:00.002+07:00

What a motivating title -.-"
I went to Dispora today to attend the closing ceremony of regional selection of youth exchange program and national youth ship program. It was basically the announcement who get chosen for the program or I must say, the big 9. We were on training for 2 days, last Saturday and Sunday, it was like a quarantine and they judge us. From 12 finalists, they need only 9. As I predict before, I didn't get pick duh! I wasn't hoping too much so I'm not disappointed, I'm not really into the program. Can you imagine me, represent Indonesia? Nu uh. hahaha. But I'm happy, at least I get in to the 12 finalists. Congrats for all the chosen candidates! Here are some of the pictures that I could get before my camera went dead.

some of us

l-r: ega, kak adin and octa pretending to be manohara -.-" lol

people from Dispora

Alan was introducing himself

12 of us and kak Dulah, the chairman of PCMI (Purna Caraka Muda Indonesia, is that right?)

l-r: ega, me and octa

KARAOKE BABY!

There there, it was an experience and I've met great people, all of them are :)

know yourself

2010-03-24T17:34:00.002+07:00

I don't want to involve in a serious commitments that force me to give my 110% shots on every actions. Blergh. I have my own rules and I try not to hurt people in anything. I hate being told. I'm quite a rebel I think. I just discovered it days ago. When people nod their heads, agreeing in whatever 'those' people say, I didn't react and besides, did the opposite of what the command says. And that's why I sometimes like to imagine myself as a horse, I simply love freedom yet I have boundaries.

2010-03-17T12:19:00.005+07:00

"And If you give me a chance to go back, I would.
I'd roll back to count how many great moments I've missed"

A Shoot

2010-03-16T18:15:00.003+07:00

Saturday was shit. I'm sorry. All I did; came to meet up, posing, show some happy faces and split up. We were just satisfying what 'some' people want, we were complementary objects of their wants.

I'm sorry. The idea wasn't fix yet, it was too fast.
We had a photo shoot for our major and I think it was too fast since we still have, at least, 1 or 2 years of studying to do. And I look bad in all of the pictures. Sht.

Faces

2010-03-12T20:39:00.008+07:00

Happy time,
Suddenly you forget where you belong
The world just stops
but we still keep on laughing
like we own the world.
,

Indeed, the world is ours.
Enjoy your youth, people!

Express emotions

2010-03-08T17:48:00.002+07:00

I really envy my youngest sister since she only knows 2 feelings; Happy and Sad. When she's happy, she's giggling and running around the house and when she didn't get what she wants or she's hungry or ill, she just cry hard. She doesn't have to feel guilt when she broke a glass or a plate. She's just a toddler. She goes out there and everybody loves her. And now, you see why sometime I really wanna be a kid again. Never gives a damn of what happen to the world, doesn't need to do certain stuff people told you to do, you can just be who you are and do what you want cause everybody won't blame you, "you're just a kid" they think.

--

I feel nauseous when I see people in my campus, especially my faculty. My stomach feels weird when I see certain people, I feel sick. My head's spinning. The way they act, they think, they talk, they wear clothes, they're all the same. And to me, it's awful. I don't really know why I feel that way, maybe I'm scared that I look exactly the same like them in someone's perspective. I want to be different. I am different.

,

Friends. There are a lot of questions in my mind about the bond of friendship I have with certain friends too. Why are they friends with me? Is it because what I have or is it because I am me. But I try to be positive. I am me and that's their reason.

17:31

2010-02-23T17:14:00.002+07:00

I think my family is cursed by some kinda electrical god or something. Most of our electronic devices are broken at the same time from TV, laptop, computer, digital camera, and mobile phone.

And that should explain why I hardly update and blogwalk these days. -.-
.

I feel like I'm turning into everybody else, wth? I don't know. And that's not good. I look and act like everybody around me and they look the same too. What the hell am I saying?

pfft.

A year older

2010-02-19T18:00:00.002+07:00

I turn 19 today and there's nothing really special about it. There's no surprises, cakes, celebrations or presents (well, except the novel Nida gave me weeks ago), there's only dozens of birthday wishes given to me, directly or via Facebook and sms. And I feel happy. They really made my day, really. You see, I never celebrate my birthdays well except when I was 4, my parents made this small birthday party for me cause my friends had theirs and I begged for one, so that doesn't count. Celebrating birthday is not my family tradition (I've mention this before) and I've grown with it. It's kinda weird for some people but I'm fine with it. Nothing to celebrate when you're one step closer to death, but that doesn't mean I don't accept presents :)

And there's nothing different of being a year older either; I feel the same like yesterday when I was just 18 or 3 years ago when I was 16. I'm not getting older, I hate the word 'old', it's just I've been in this journey for 19 years and I have to rewind what had happened to me for the past 19 years and all that happened to me years ago made me who I am, today. I'm happy cause I'm still breathing in this 19 years of my life and that's something I have to be grateful of.

As for birthday wishes, I wish everything's in its own track and God helps me with everything.
.

You don't have to know what 'everything' is

Today's note

2010-02-14T21:56:00.003+07:00

Valentine or no valentine, world's still the same.
Celebrating love they say, but people still kill each other.

Jello!

2010-02-13T18:20:00.002+07:00

Hello people. I was going to update on 8th, but Dad's laptop went dead and so did all computer devices in my house, I haven't use internet for a while. I'm borrowing my cousin's laptop since he went god-knows-where. Anyway, I was tagged by Ayie to list down 10 things that make me happy, though I've posted one before, here I am listing it down again.

1. Having my own time. I love to stay in my room reading and listening to music or just doodling. I like being on my own, no interaction with the outside world. And ideas just flawing when I'm alone.
2. The first 5 minuets in the bathroom before having a bath. Lol. I love to stay in front of the mirror and talking to my self. I feel so happy. I can be whatever I want in front of the mirror. I can be an Oscar winner or a professor.
3. Hanging out with friends. Laughing your head off with them, talking non sense, do fun stuff, sharing stories. What else?
4. Internet. Find stuff, download as much files as you can, stalk people, it's like you go around the world without moving.
5. Jokes. But you have to know the right time to crack one.
6. Going to new places.
7. Remembering happy moments. Duh? obviously. It helps when you are in a very bad mood.
8. To be remembered. Remembered by anyone. It feels great :)
9. Being with my family when we are all in the good mood. Hahaha.
10. Meeting old friends!

That's all! And I pass this to: Nida, Dian, Sasha, Sara, and Tania.

To me, you are everything

2010-02-07T16:25:00.003+07:00

I think, having taken a journey would complete me. But I was wrong.
I am still lonely.
.
Erm, I need a person.
:")

Hey, it's February and 12 days to my 19th.

Remembering Bandung

2010-02-03T20:22:00.005+07:00

Gosh, another lame title.

[EDIT] It was fun [/EDIT]

2010-01-18T21:30:00.000+07:00

I'll be away for a while :)

I know you so well

2010-01-16T20:14:00.007+07:00

I watched Sherlock Holmes with Naya and Tini and their college friends last Friday, the movie was good but my feeling wasn't. Ha, me being overdramatic again. I was planning to catch up with Naya and Tini after months we haven't met, but they have plans already: movie. So, I kinda invited myself to see the movie with them, well not really, I asked them first and they said it'll be fine if I come along, so, I came along. The hang out was fine but I didn't get what I intended to. I was looking forward to catch up with both of them, but, I only got the time to catcth up with one of them. I know I can't have me-me time with them since their friends were there and I'm the 'guest' but I was expecting something, erm, let's just get over it. I wasn't feel ease.

Me and my youngest sister: Nadira, had a photoshoot today. I just bought the batteries of my digicam so I tried to take some pictures with my sister. And man, Nadira knows how to act in front of the camera. Haha.

Look at her expression! :)

Well, good thing is, I bought the ticket to Bandung and I'm going this Tuesday. Will meet up with Nida on 21st. I just can't wait. Please God, make it easy. Anyway,

.
Bye.

Bermain dingin

2010-01-13T14:38:00.004+07:00

Lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
Brought me down upon my knees
Oh I beg, I beg and plead

Clocks- Coldplay

One of their best songs and album: A rush of blood to the head.

Track me

2010-01-12T21:50:00.004+07:00

Few hours ago I stumbled upon one of my old friend's blog. She's not actually a friend, we never met but we used to exchanging links until we moved blogs, and we loose contact. I don't think she remembers me at all and I don't want to be remembered, wth? The point is, she reminds me of how long I've been using blogger. I read her post about how she's missing her mum (her mum passed away) and I remembered how 5 years ago when I just starting to blog, I read her post about her mum that just passed. So I've been blogging for 5 years now? But I don't see any differences compared to 5 years ago. I used to have 2 accounts on blogger before I get settled with this one, and I was a blogger maniac. I blog nearly everyday and I changed my layout nearly once a week. I was over-productive that time. But, my highest achievement was only get hosted for about 3 months (97toyboys.vi0lent.org), I was busied with my national exam so the site was left out and I think my host doesn't use that domain anymore. I mean, 5 years blogging and I ended up like this? haha. Lame-y.

And I deleted them all.
Yes, I've deleted over 7 blogs of mine (just in blogger) and my first blogskins account along with my skins. I mean, I shouldn't deleted them, should I? They can help me to see the progress I've made. I didn't use my head that time. It was a mistake. And this is what's left:

First picture: This is my blog, only use it for 4 months and I still have it cause I want to keep the layout's code since I lost the original codes. Visit it here.
Second picture: My countless blogskins account and I only submit 2 skins. Visit it here.

Now, I've learnt my mistake and promise not to do it again. I used this url for nearly a year (23rd January) and will not move eventhough I already get sick with this 'url'. Because, blog is my life- record and I don't want to delete this record, this time.

Erm, I guess I just made a new year resolution? :)

Channel Dynamics

2010-01-05T20:56:00.002+07:00

I'm heading to a direction I don't know,
It's a blur but somehow I'm excited
I keep my enthusiasm high.
2010, is this a sign of a good start?

I hope.

So please, please, please, let me get what I want

2010-01-03T19:17:00.003+07:00

(title: The Smiths)

I just got back from a leadership intermediate training, sounds cool hey? Tania said it sounds so professional lol. I got back home yesterday afternoon, very tired indeed. And straight finishing my undone assigments due this Tuesday. Tomorrow, my 3rd semester final exam begins. I haven't study, the training taken my one study week, haha. But it was worth it, I learnt a lot and it's a good way to end 2009.

please, please, please, be nice 2010
please, please, please, please, let me meet Nida in Bandung this Desember and I'll be a good girl :)

Christmas movies

2009-12-25T10:14:00.004+07:00

My all time favorite movies; Home Alone 1 and 2. They are best christmas movies ever.
Besides my untouched assignments and exam materials, I enjoy this holiday.

Alone doesn't mean lonely, does it?

2009-12-21T20:25:00.003+07:00

Went to cinema after paying my college fee, alone. I watched one long waited movie "Sang Pemimpi" alone! haha. Some of my friends had already watched it and some, want to watch it on Thursday, and I can't wait that long. Crp. Walked around the mall alone wasn't really bad, you can go everywhere you like without someone following you or telling you to go to another place. But mum didn't like the idea of me watching the movie alone, err. The movie was okay though the novel is much better (duh!) and the movie wasn't as motivating as the novel. And ergh, Nazril Irham is cute (just realize that) and he plays really well.

Today was good.

"Kita tak'kan pernah mendahului nasib!" - Arai

We will meet on the tower

2009-12-20T11:20:00.003+07:00

I once heard people said, "If you don't love yourself, how can others love you?". And I think it's true. But, there's a case when you love yourself but others don't? they can't take you as the way you are. You are very content and happy with yourself but others see you as a troublesome. There must be something wrong with that.

Maybe we're too in love with ourselves?
No, it isn't the reason for blocking people to see who you really are.

Another mad cow

2009-12-13T21:02:00.002+07:00

God knows what possessed me to be a mad cow today. I am mad at everyone. Is it because of this freaking humongous zit on my nose? Okay, that's so not funny. I am utterly sad at something which I'm not really sure what. Maybe it's because I didn't get what I wanted or maybe I'm just plain sad? I don't know myself. To make things worst, I'm stuck at home 24 hours (okay, maybe 6) with my annoying youngest sister. All I want to do right now is to disappear and calm myself down. But I don't have any destinations to go to. Right, maybe I just have to wait and see what's coming up next; I burst or I calm down. Here we go the mad cow, you might probably need to step aside.

Paperline

2009-12-12T22:30:00.003+07:00

"It's like I'm recalling the past memories in my dream. Strange. "

I'm sure it wasn't a dream. I was recalling stuff happened couple months and years ago but I was asleep. Was I dreaming? There were people that aren't supposed to be in my dream (if it was a dream). It might be nothing but I felt strange when I woke up today. I don't know, you tell me.

//

My International Economics assignment really had taken some of my time. Thank goodness, the presentation was over but we have to redo the report again. I don't mind redoing it since I really enjoy this subject :B What have you guys been doing?

Sleepyhead

2009-12-04T21:19:00.001+07:00

I'm sorry with this bad quality image. I try to put some pictures in my blog since it's too plain and I found this picture in my facebook (boo hoo). We took this picture last wednesday, in this noodle factory, Indomie. Free noodle, yayness! And oh, we're not UI (University of Indonesia) students, we're UNSRI. Yes the same colour of jacket, yellow -.-"

I'm sandwiched between assignments and exams. Though exams are not yet start but i'm busy catching up. Really, I don't know what to post, my brain just got shut down all of the sudden. And ergh, IMF website takes a long time to load, I need the info for my assignment lerh.

Things that cross my mind

2009-11-27T11:45:00.002+07:00

Oh yo!
Memory!
Must you bring up these things?
Only stupid words
Make me forget all of that
Stupid memory
Can I forget all that crap?
Stupid memory
Can I forget all of that?

Stupid Memory- Sondre Lerche

Too bad memories in our head is not eraseable.

///

End of year 2009 is very near and for the last couple of weeks I've been thinking about all things I've done for the past one year erm, actually for the past 1,5 year. Yes, since I became college student. Ahh, memories. Quantitatively, 1,5 is a small number but let's count to how many changes you've made, things you've experienced, people you've met for the past 1,5 years? Countless. The experiences I've been through, the people I've met, things I've discovered for the past a year and half make me realize that this is what we live for! And being 18 is not enough to experience, to meet, to discover it all.

Now, I am more understand how things around me work, understand how people feels and how they want to be treated, and most of all I understand myself. When you grow up, not just your age that adds up but also your understandings. And the time you understand something it's the time you tell yourself that this is what you live for.

Hey! I'm updating

2009-11-12T18:50:00.000+07:00

I have only 10 minuets to post. My brother needs this flash thing. Anyway, I was busied with college. Thank god, no important event my organization arrage, well at least, for this month. So, one major mid exam to go and I feel annoyed. Third semester is very hectic and tiring. Assignments are like everywhere. When one's done another one's coming. No time to breath. Presentation, surveys, dadidadida. Man, it's damn tiring.

I'm enjoying it, to tell you the truth. Like what my friend, Nia, said "enjoy the process, cause you don't know what the result will be" Damn right. So, do enjoy people! Enjoy being student, enjoy the last time being teenager, enjoy mending the broken heart (yea right), enjoy having busy life, just enjoy it.

anyway, I'm off.

Days that are over

2009-10-31T23:07:00.005+07:00

Do you know this place?

Finally updating this blog! Actually, I update CYBERSPACE when I'm not updating this one. It's more private. Ah yes, I changed the color of my blog. People said that it was too dark.

Anyway, how's my mid-exams? It went pretty good actually. And as usual, group study! We always have group study when it comes to IC's subjects. Yes, the one that use English. On Friday, we spent like 3 hours in canteen. And, what are you doing, Fida? Studying? erm, actually we sandwiched that between eating, gossiping and copying notes, ha. And a day before, the guys plus Fidel 'studied' at my house. Like usual, it was full of chatting and chattering. We're checking everybody's statuses on FB and checking crushes pictrures. Ubber fun.

Ahh, I still have mid-exams next week. Wish me luck!

--

Because, no matter how close you are to a person or how well that person knows you. Actually, he/she doesn't really know you that well. You are the one that knows who you really are. Stuff what people said, go follow your heart.

Being happy is happy!

2009-10-19T21:11:00.002+07:00

Okay, I tried to post this since an hour ago and I just got rejected by blogger few minuets ago. Very fun! Blame this Telkomflash, it's effing slow.

Anyway, this probably is going to be my last post for this month, since next week my mid semester exams and I need to catch up fast. So, stop the bragging. I'm really sorry how I love to brag about my life. It becomes my new habbit :S

So, I decided to list things that make me happy, some of them. Here we go.

,

Things that make me happy:

Thinking that I'm going to meet Nida next January! So exciting! I hope the calender academic is right.
Having small trivia talks with friends. For example, Doraemon's original colour is yellow and he actually has horns.
Listening to Coldplay's oldest album: Parachutes. Ahh, brings back so much memories.
Knowing that UNSRI's bus driver are actually concern about students safety.
Seeing babies smile!
There are a lot of things need to be discovered and mastered.
Experiencing new stuffs.
Eating rujak in campus! yummy!
Friday classroom. I really love the room.
I'm starting to save money and going to use it when I finish college. Oh, plans and plans.
Making people happy.
To know that people actually care about you. Bunch of them.

There are a lot of things that make me happy and I don't need to mention it all. We all have reasons to be happy, no matter who we are. Don't let a problem or person take away your happiness. We live in this world for only a short time then, make it worth, fill it with your happiness. Now find out your reasons and be happy! Cause we have the right to be.

Smile! It's free :)

Bap bap bap

2009-10-18T18:57:00.004+07:00

Oh no, I see,
A spider web is tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I'd said.

Oh no, what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
So I turn to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,

And I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
And oh no, I never meant to do you harm.

Oh no, I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here am I in my little bubble,

Singing I, never meant to cause you trouble,
And I, never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh, no I never meant to do you harm.

They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me.

Trouble- Coldplay

Today I spent my time helping Nisa buying and assembling her new cupboard and fan for her room. She just move to the dorm, she stays with Via. Very fun lerh since we are amateurs.
,

My life is so boring, very monotone. I desperately need something new, something exciting. And this semester is very gloomy, everybody said that. What's wrong with us? Campus is not even better. I go there just to waste money and make sins by making bad remarks on anyone I see. Hmpf. I didn't mean to do that, I'm serious. And, I've been making mistakes too. Well, it means you're still living, isn't? Blame this swinging moods, erm, no wait, blame me! I belong to the productive age, but I don't produce anything while my friends busy making money with their businesses. I need to make something, ideas?

And online life is boring too, which explain my not-updating-enough and blogwalking a lot. I'm sorry. I'll relink you, sha.

That's all. I am a bore, thankyou.

Finally I understand

2009-10-11T19:05:00.002+07:00

I really hate going to Indralaya, I don't know why they built university in the middle of vilages. It's very isolated. And currently, I'm hating that place. If it's not for my both parents and education's sake, I won't go to that place. Third semester is very different, my feeling toward certain things is very different as well. Maybe it's just the growing up, blergh I don't know.

,

I burst to tears last week, I felt like I've been carrying this burden. Very heavy. And now I feel lot better, though there are lots of stuffs that need to be fixed and to start over, I'm doing fine. And because of that, I finally realized that I've been wrong for the past 3 years. I think, since I came back to Indonesia in 2006, I always tried hard to make everyone happy with everything I did and decisions I made. I've done them for people's happiness not mine. And look where am I ended up at?

It's like, this is not where I am supposed to be. I made plan A and B, but ended in G, you know what I mean? How about my passion of becoming a doctor? haha, never actually said that loud eh? no matter how scared I am with blood, I want to be a doctor. I tried once, I failed, and stop trying. That is wrong. I'm scared of failure which is fcuking stupid, I'm such an idiot. People learn from their failures idiot! I blame myself for that. I follow what people said, I listen too much to what they said. I try to make them happy.

Now, with everything I've ended up with, I have to face and enjoy them and try my best to survive. I won't go with the flow anymore. I go with my heart. I take people advices and filter them first, I do everything for my happiness not theirs. Yes, I am selfish. But, I think it's time to save myself (Quoted from: Saving Francessca, Melina Marchetta).

Here we go, let's roll back

2009-10-04T14:26:00.003+07:00

Sometimes, beautiful things that happened in the past make us stuck at where we are right now.
We couldn't move on cause we keep on thinking about it.

,

Then I tell myself, if it never happened, I would have been like this, I would never done this, it would never happened, and... Ahh, there just so much that need to be fixed. So much to regret. But then, when we regret we feel bad about ourselves, because things happened because we made it to happened. Now where we are right now, I feel unease. I try to blend with it but mother, it hards.

Sometimes I think the weather knows how I feel (yeah right, fida), this morning it was dark and raining. Perfect.

ahh, there we go my melancholy mood.

-

Oh hey, I keep my promise, postcard pictures! Cute eh?

I walk down the hall

2009-10-01T22:34:00.004+07:00

I begin my third semester with a very bad start, I must say. Been trouble, not being brave enough, having too much fun, and the list goes on. And I've changed so much, I can feel it. And, erm, it's not in a good way. Oh wells, selama kita hidup kita akan terus berubah? is it right? I hate to be an easily-influenced type of a person.

--

7,6 Richter Scale (RS) Earthquake stroke Padang yesterday and another 7 RS earthquake stroke Jambi this morning. Earthquakes stroke Sumatera! And I am scared, that it might strike Palembang. I am scared of dying, I'm not prepared, ha.

P.S. oh, I finally received Ied postcard. I participate this project, they send Ied postcards for free. Now, I feel like sending one. The card is effing cute, I'll post the pic in the next post.

Aftermath

2009-09-24T12:08:00.005+07:00

Okay, slight exaggeration of the title.

--

Families from Bandung and Jakarta spent their Ied at my house like it used to be. My house was a total mess. And when your cousins are dominated by boys, you feel hopeless since no one bothers to help. But it was fun. The first two pictures are the fighting pictures of my brother and cousin. They fought for real, lol.

Halal bihalal with senior high friends.
Sorry for the bad quality image, they were taken using my old digicam.

1430 H

2009-09-21T21:12:00.004+07:00

+ No matter what language you speak, when we pray, we recite the same prayer.
+ No matter where you live, when we pray, we're heading the same direction.
+ No matter how great you are, when we pray; we bow, lower our heads and kiss the ground.

Religion treats us the same, we are the same. Religion unites people. I am a Muslim and Islam is universal.
Once again, Ied Mubarak, may Allah bless us.

We'll grow old and you'll be stronger without me

2009-09-18T22:34:00.004+07:00

(title: They weren't there- Missy Higgins)

Having posted over 45 posts in one blog makes me feel bored. Yes, I get bored easily and I need to get rid of this bad habit. If you read one of my previous post, I once mentioned that I move blog when my post reaches number 20 something. But, this year is different. In the beginning of the year I made this blog and I promise to myself I will never move blog again, though I keep making new ones.

So, after more than a month of hiatus, I tell myself, "Let's start this thing all over again!". And instead of moving blog, I imported all my archieves to one blog. You can find the link on the sidebar.

--

That's Naya, one of my best girls, texting her boyfriend.

Tomorrow is the last day of Ramadhan and everybody's busy preparing for Ied. I hope we all becoming more religious of a person. I'm not that religious but it's sad to leave the holy month. Erm, anyway, Ied Mubarak for those who are celebrating! :)

pause hiatus pause

2009-09-07T19:18:00.003+07:00

No, I am still not in the mood of blogging. Ehm, what a bore.
It's Ramadhan and in two weeks we're gonna have Ied. wtf. No point telling you that stuff, you guys know it already.

My third semester has already began and juniors are coming. It's weird how only last year, I struggled to survive as first year student, and now I have juniors. I'm sick with college, the place, the systems, and the people. Yet I am so eager to learn new stuff, to be inside the class and absorb as much as knowledge I could absorb from the intellectuals. I know, I know, I sound too much but it's true. There's a phase in your life when you're eager to learn new things, to be trapped in theorems.

2009 nearly ends and am fascinated how fast time goes. Next year, I'll turn 19, last time being teenager. Do you even wonder how your future will be? I'm curious yet excited.

Okay, that's all. I don't know when I'm going to post again.

toodles

Long time, good times

2009-08-11T17:24:00.005+07:00

I was searching for some songs in one of my music CDs, and then I found The Veronicas. I used to listen to their songs a lot, I even made a blogskin of them, lmao. And, am currently listening to them, 4ever is playing right now. lol. I remember singing this song over and over again in Tania's bed room when me and Nida slept over at her house. And I once got caught by Sr. Hanan cause I was listening to The Veronicas in her class, haha. Good times. God, I miss them.

Come on baby we ain't gonna live 4ever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
Yeah, yeah with you, yeah, yeah
Come with me tonight
We could make the night last 4ever

Yr 9, end of the term party, 2005

fly fleance, fly!

2009-08-10T21:07:00.011+07:00

Iedul Fitri, 2008

Yes, time does fly fast. Today is 2009.

--

I am sick with all those news on TV about terrorism. Is that really him? I just want this to be over. There's other thing I wanna see/ hear beside terrorism.

Blergh, I changed my layout again.

Goodbye

2009-08-09T18:00:00.004+07:00

IC FE UNSRI 2008 ditinggal sama 2 penghuninya, Tiwi dapet akuntansi UNPAD & Bima dapet Bea Cukai STAN. Tambah sepi.

oh snow

2009-08-08T13:55:00.006+07:00

(mind the title)
I got nothing to post today,
When I'm not in front of the laptop, there are dozens of ideas to be written in this blog. But when I'm trying to write them down, they disappear. Blank. I'm having one of those writer's blocks.

Fly me to the moon!
from ffound.com

changes and plans

2009-07-30T15:33:00.007+07:00

credits: x, x, x, x, x (closed)

Man, do I love changing layout?
Trust me, it's better than changing 'url'. I've been blogging four like 4 years now? and I've changed blogs for like erm countless. I used to move everywhere from blogger to wordpress to co.nr and then get hosted. I've tried everything. But I come back to blogger. Trust me, this is the longest I've ever stayed in one blog. It nearly reaches 45 posts! woo hoo! Usually when it reaches 20 posts I move blog but this time, I think I should stop considering my age. lol. You can see my links, it never reaches up to 20 links cause when I move, I never really tell my link friends to relink me.

I read this blog's archieves and I found out I've got many plans since the beginning of the year, but then nothing really change in my life. For example, I planned to take another SNMPTN (University entrance test), I didn't do it. Why? cause I'm too lazy to study besides nobody supports me. damn it. And I planned to get back on blogskins, I didn't do it. Why? I don't have time. sht. Don't you know that when you said I don't have time it means you're lazy. Yes, I am lazy. I planned to loose weight, but I gain some instead. Very well then, I am a sucker. But then, I have another plan and it's still on progress, we'll see in the next 3 to 4 years.

O yeah, maybe some of you have already known, there's a film called '2012' or doomsday they said, about how earth and other planets destroyed. I'm not actually interested in it (haven't watch it). I was like 'it's probably a movie made by a desperate dude who's afraid of the day of judgement'. But then, I watched the news in TvOne, they were talking about the cycle of the sun, and around 2012 and 2013 the sun reaches its maximum cycle and will affect the planets nearby. And worst, they'll be destroyed because of it. Spooky hey? tobat tobat tobat

Let there be love

2009-07-29T14:54:00.004+07:00

Who kicked a hole in the sky so the heavens would cry over me?
Who stole the soul from the sun in a world come undone at the seams?

Let there be love
Let there be love

I hope the weather is calm as you sail up your heavenly stream
Suspended clear in the sky are the words that we sing in our dreams

Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love

Come on Baby Blue
Shake up your tired eyes
The world is waiting for you
May all your dreaming fill the empty sky
But if it makes you happy
Keep on clapping
Just remember I'll be by your side
And if you don't let go it's gonna pass you by

Who kicked a hole in the sky so the heavens would cry over me?
Who stole the soul from the sun in a world come undone at the seams?

Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love

Oasis

--

I lost my music file. All downloaded songs are gone. sht. Now tell me how am I going to get them back, when I saved them in a disc? triple sht.

My life is very monotone, nothing exciting going on but that doesn't make me want this holiday to be over cause I don't miss my campus at all.

another random thought

2009-07-17T19:58:00.004+07:00

Another bomb attack in Indonesia, another bomb attack in J.W. Marriott. And Manchester United cancelled their visit to Indonesia. They're all happened just when Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono (current president) elected to be the next president. What a contrast. Just to remind you here, in 2004 when he's elected as president months after that, around december 2004, tsunami stroke Aceh. Coincidence? Neh, question: How come everytime he won the election people die. lol. I know, I know, people do die. Old joke here, I'm just pointing out my thoughts.

Some people are laughing right now in front of their TVs watching the news. They say, "look at all those Indonesians, they're so dumb, they blame each other". And I think God laughs along with them. Last night I watch a program about how Indonesian supporters and athletes preparing the match versus MU for this Sunday, but less than 24 hours later, MU's management cancelled their visit.

Man can only plans, God works the rest.

--

I watched Harry Potter and Half-Blood Prince. It was okay, I'm not a big fan of Harry Potter.
But Rupert Grint caught me, like he always do.

what if

2009-07-12T19:37:00.004+07:00

credits: images from x x, brushes from x, photoshop action from x

What if there was no light.
Nothing wrong, nothing right.
What if there was no time?
And no reason or rhyme?
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side.
That you don't want me there in your life.

What If- Coldplay

Then the world'll be damn plain.

You point out that everyone's wrong, everyone's breaking a rule, you blame it to everyone when actually it's you, you're the one that's wrong. You just can't accept the fact that you're wrong. You're being a denial.

Nothing, just a note to a self. Good night.

Ho to the li to the day

2009-07-10T13:59:00.003+07:00

Seems like everybody's having a vacation hey?
I'm not going to Malang, crap. I was going to see Siti, but dad isn't going so, no Malang for this holiday. fufu. I didn't get to see Tania in Jkt and now I'm not going to see Siti. I got no money, I can't go anywhere. sht. They haven't transfer my scholarship money. What a misery.

I just got back home two days ago. I was organizing this training held by PII (Pelajar Islam Indonesia). Very tiring, indeed. I slept only for two hours on Monday night which was the last night of the event. I think, I was half unconcious when I got home. And this is what I did when I got home: take a bath, sleep, pray, sleep, pray, sleep, pray, watch tv, pray, sleep till the morning. I was exhausted. I was half unconcious too when I prayed. ha. But it was fun. To deal with various types of people, to organize such small amount of money. Very good experience.

I met new people and I cooked. When my mum heard of that, she wasn't sure of what the food would like. ha. Shared a lot of stories and laughter. I'll tell you some other time. There are 'scenes' I'd like to share.

Those are the pictures of novel Nida sent me. Love the package and the writing is so Nida.

Uglies

2009-07-09T07:24:00.004+07:00

"What you do, the way you think, makes you beautiful" - David.

Uglies, Scott Westerfeld

It's us who create the definition of beauty itself. Then we realized we had wrong perception of what beauty really is. Now the perception of beautiful is being changed, though it's not a fortnight job, we're still trying. It comes from the inside, yes it is. I'm beautiful, say it!

Thank you Nida for sending me this novel. Pictures later.
I'm off to find the second book.

Crash and Burn

2009-06-30T15:25:00.003+07:00

Hello there fellow blog readers
My reunion with my junior high friends was totally screwed up. Turned out only 6 people came: me, bunga, billi, wira, naufal, and ummu. The worst part was when naufal and ummu got transformer tickets and we didn't. They bought it earlier. So I ended up with buying dvds with bunga. I got: HP Order of Phoenix, Baby and me, Secret, and My lovely Sam Soon (My name is Sam Soon). Turns out that HP is the only english movie I bought, the rest are Asian drama and movie. I'm having one of those asian drama fever. I totally love the settings, clothes, and casts.

God. He isn't that handsome, but I love the dimples (?). He's one of the casts in My lovely Sam Soon. Now, my blog is spammed by korean actor.

What are you doing for this holiday?
Me? IELTS. I know, they don't have the institution here in Palembang. I learn it by myself. Later, when I finished college then I'll take the course. That was my dad's plan actually. Very thoughtful huh? I love learning languages. College starts on 31st of August. So I plan to excel something during this holiday. But I don't know what.

drrt.

fruit and veggie

2009-06-26T09:18:00.003+07:00

One couple of capsicum, Two couples of strawberry.
Even fruit and veggie have their own partner.
and Me? don't ask.

Listening to: Vertical Horizon- Save me from myself

Nadira

2009-06-24T21:11:00.007+07:00

Youngest sister of mine. She's only 2 years old, and she's cute (admit it!). She loves dolphins and penguins. She calls it "mba mba" as for dolphins and "piwin (read: pee win)" as for penguins.

She's very cheeky.

-

How's my new layout? I don't know why I always bored with my self-coded layout. This one is simpler, and better without my picture on it :) I should get busy with blogskins during this holiday and keep practicing my driving skill err all these traffic jams and stupid drivers driving me crazy that make me scared. Pray for me that I'll be a driver expert at the end of this holiday.

I can't wait to meet my junior high friends. Oh, photoshop action is from Cassey as always.

Happypills

2009-06-12T20:21:00.005+07:00

image from fffound.com

Today's routine was normal: studied at my house but as usual ended with chatting, chanting, chattering, whatever and free bakso from Bima. He's accepted in STAN. There there. Being around your friends is very comforting. You feel light.

Friends are always be my happypills and painkillers.

I got Statistical Economics final exam tomorrow and my head is filled with probabilities and numbers.
Wish me luck people.

time machine

2009-06-11T20:02:00.003+07:00

Though it's isolated, I left half of my heart there.
Take me back, please take me back.

photoshop action from here

ikhlas anda halal bagi kami

2009-06-03T20:40:00.005+07:00

Gahh, pengamen (pengantar manajemen slash intro to management) was freaking hard. I never predict my lecturer would ask such questions. damn it. I got 2 free days! how wonderful.

I'm bored. I save some of my posts as drafts I don't know when I'll post them. Anw, today's route: layo- PIM- rumah HAHA typical huh? Now, I'm sick of pizza hut. I wanna post some our photobox pictures, but I can't be bothered scanning it. So I'll leave you with my international class picture. LOL. You can see the rest in my facebook. I'm with the humongous 'F'.

photoshop action from blog.casseybunn.com

p.s. as for the title, I quoted this 'pengamen' kid on the bus. lol. I can't stop laughing when he said it. Don't know why.

an update

2009-05-30T15:41:00.002+07:00

It's been a hectic week and it won't stop till next week. Very tiring, and I have to boost my marks in some of the units.

I leave you with Alexa's new video, I adore the setting :)

cloudy

2009-05-26T07:55:00.005+07:00

This post suppose to be for yesterday post, but I was too tired to post so yeah. I hope they read this. Sorry.

Monday, 25th May 2009. 10.00 pm

I'm sorry for being so expressive, I'm sorry for being childish. Trust me, I get mad as easy as I lay back. But this is the problem people, I trust you guys but you stabbed me in the back. Okay, may be it's too exaggerate by using 'stab in the back' to describe what happened, and I believe some of you didn't noice that you've hurt me. I'm sorry for being such a cry baby. Because, this morning, I've written stuff about you guys and am going to post it. I wrote how I'm happy to be around you, how friendly and how wonderful to have you guys around. But, it's like you betrayed me.

May be it's only a small matter, but it's big in my eyes. I trust people easily and I disturst them easily too. I realized that I'm childish. But do you know that when I get mad/ angry, I cry? Well I'm sorry. You guys are great people and I am very happy to have you guys around. But this is the second time. Okay, may be not really the first time but I feel cheated on.

I'm sorry.

--

Okay, so from yesterday till this wednesday, I have Macroeconomics class till 09.00 pm. Why? because our meetings is less than 14 times of meetings, and the requirement to take the final semester is the student, at least, attend 14 meetings. Don't blame us. Blame the lecturer. I am very tired indeed. We all are. But thank goodness, I don't have to go to Inderalaya today. But tomorrow is one-day killing machine (wth?), I'm gonna be in Inderalaya from morning till afternoon and in Bukit till night. OMG! 12 hours of studying nonstop! Zzz

Today's prayer: Oh God, I only ask for easy mid semester questions and strength to get me through the day (and night. lol)

a lifetime experience

2009-05-22T18:59:00.003+07:00

When I was in year 8, I learnt that we shouldn't hope too much for anything we ever hoped. Because when things didn't run as smooth as what we expected or didn't happen as what we expected, great disappointment comes over us. And I really hate for having that feeling. 5 years after that, I still hope too much, I have high expectation. When I found out that it didn't happen as what I expected, I'm hurt. I don't know how to describe this feeling. Maybe some of you know how it feels, and do you know how suck for having that feeling is? The disappointment, the sadness, the anger, they're all mingle into one. It feels like, you've flown to the 7th sky and then suddenly this strong gravity pulls you down really hard that you crashed to the ground. I really wanna blame someone but who? It's my fault for expecting something really high when I know I can't predict the future. But what's so wrong about hoping?

I am sad. But I didn't cry my eyes out, cause I can't. I don't know why. I don't know how to express the feeling. I'm just sad. I'm disappointed. And it' s my fault. I need some strength to get me through the day. I become sadder when I see everybody around me is sad too. Hmph.

Above it all, I still believe: everything happens for a reason. I believe, He, who has that supreme power has planned something for us. Something better. He is the invisble hand. He's the one that leads our heart, He leads us to the path He has chosen for us. He's the source of my strength. Maybe it's the best for me. I learnt something out of it. I'm not gonna hope too high for everything I do. I just wanna do it best. I just wanna let it flow, and right now I have to let it go.

Today, I learnt something.

Overseas

2009-05-21T19:44:00.005+07:00

I found out that I didn't win that kompetiblog competition thingy. But that's okay. My writting is nothing compare to others. I should try to write more and improve my writting.

--

hmpf. I've been listening to Switchfoot and Keane. And I feel like going to UK by listening to their songs. I can imagine me hanging out around Thames river at night. Mann, When am I going to go there?

image from google

I'm sick living in Palembang, I got no where to go. And all this travelling programmes on TV are showing great places all over the world which are very appealling. I've been searching for these competitions that the prize is tickets to overseas. I'm still trying. That's the best I could do. Try.

I saw it on your keyboard- Hellogoodbye

2009-05-20T20:45:00.004+07:00

uThere exists a melody that
Just might change your mind
Oh! If only I knew the key to
Sing to make you mine

Then I saw it on your keyboard
You saw it on my sleeve
I never knew a heart existed
Outside of make believe
Then I read it on your keyboard
I knew at least that I might have a chance
To catch a shooting star

There exists a star above that
Always steals my stare
And there exists a star on stage that
Never seems to care

And then I saw it on your keyboard
you saw it in my eyes
I didn't mean to scare you
You just seem really nice
And then I read it on your keyboard
I knew at least that I might have a chance
To catch a shooting star.
oo oo oo oo oo, oo oo oo oo oo oo [x4]

There exists a melody
That just might change your mind
If only I knew the key
To sing to make you mine.

oo oo oo oo oo, oo oo oo oo oo oo [x8]
(There exists a melody that I, know. oh oh oh oh oh oh oh)

--

I'm sleepy and hungry but I got to finish studying this Intro to Accounting 2 power point presentation. Well, at least I got hellogoodbye and plain white t's to accompany me through the night.

1,2,3,4

2009-05-19T10:56:00.002+07:00

I got free day 3 days in a row. Very fun! I don't have to go to Inderalaya, from Sunday (obviously weekend) to Tuesday. Our Intro to Business Law lecturer was mad at us, so no classes till semester exam. Very awesome. We got to study alone.

And, I'm becoming less productive these days. I need a job!

quote of the day

2009-05-04T14:38:00.007+07:00

"Happiness is real when it's shared"

-in to the wild-

--

21: 49

Back to my usual habit: changing layout. I know, I haven't even finish coding the previous layout. Now I changed to this one. I like this one better than the previous one. This one's simpler. What do you think? Oh, I like the footer. Look at the face! effing cute :)

--

Ahhh, I've got to go to campus tomorrow. I hate going to the campus these days. And yeah, I've stoped facebooking now. Temporary only. We'll see how my mood goes. haha.

future

2009-05-01T21:07:00.004+07:00

I told my dad about my idea of studying in Java. Yes, I probably going to take SNMPTN (national university enterance test) this year. But my dad didn't really like the idea. Cause, I'm going to take the same course I took last year: management. Last year, out of 3 choices of univeristies I got to chose, I picked Unsri for all the choices. lol. Now, I found out that Unsri is not really a great place to study for me. I don't feel comfortable. I'm thinking of studying in Undip, but I don't know. I'm not gonna join any classes to prepare for this SNMPTN. I study alone. haha. I'm not hoping too much on this. If I don't pass, that's okay. I pray for the best.

and, something's wrong with my layout. It won't shows up. Crap.

drive drove droven

2009-04-30T21:13:00.001+07:00

New layout. It still on progress of making, I just need to add up some links and codes. I'm planning not to come to campus tomorrow, erm, wait, I've made my decision: no campus tomorrow. Wohoo! Gonna practice driving instead haha. It's been a very long time since I learn how to drive.

:)

Let's watch the flower grows

2009-04-28T20:32:00.005+07:00

Do you have other purposes of going to campus or school beside seeking knowledge? Do you know what I mean? You know how we have purposes of doing something. We have intention. Something like, when you go to school you're gonna get money from your parents. Something that makes you exciting when you do something. It's like when you really lazy to wake up in the morning to go to school, you forced yourself but you failed but then by thinking one of your 'purposes' you kinda get this positive energy strike over you that makes you go to school. You know? Something that moves you?

Whatever. I know you still don't understand.

Hmph. This afternoon, me and my friends were running after person by person to take care of our Pengantar Aplikasi Komputer (Introduction to Applied Computer?) since our schedule was messed up. But, we couldn't find the person. So we ended up sitting in the couch talking and laughing (mostly). And I felt like I wanna to stay in that couch forever. Cause by sitting, talking and laughing in that couch I feel good about myself and on top of it all, it makes me forget that I just lost one of my 'exciting purpose' of going to campus every morning.

Belanda dan Komunitas Global

2009-04-26T20:07:00.006+07:00

Tiga hari yang lalu saya lagi blogwalking tiba-tiba saya nemu blog ini, ada satu postnya berjudul "Netherland". Ternyata, post itu buat kompetiblog semacam kompetisi untuk membuat tulisan bertema, "Studi di Belanda, ticket to a global community" yang hadiahnya belajar di Belanda selama 2 minggu. So why don't we take the chance?

Global, global, global dan global. Dua tahun belakangan ini sering sekali saya dengar kata itu: global dan globalisasi. Bayangan saya tentang global dan globalisasi cuma orang- orang dunia menjadi satu. Waktu Pemerintah Provinsi Sumatera Selatan meluncurkan program "Visit Musi 2008", guru kimia saya di SMA bilang kalau nantinya di tahun ke depan, di era globalisasi, orang- orang dari negara lain lebih mudah datang ke Indonesia. Administrasinya lebih mudah, begitu katanya. "Wow, berarti kita bisa kenalan sama banyak orang luar negeri!" itu yang ada di pikiran saya saat itu. Bisa blend in dengan masyarakat dari negara lain, membentuk sebuah komunitas.

Komunitas global. Lagi, dalam bayangan saya, komunitas global adalah kumpulan manusia dari berbagai belahan dunia dengan budaya yang berbeda bergabung menjadi satu. Saling berinterkasi satu dengan yang lain. Tahun 2004 waktu saya masih SMP, saya belajar di Perth selama 2 tahun. Disana saya bertemu dengan banyak orang dari berbagai belahan dunia mulai dari Somalia sampai Albania. Kita saling tukar pikiran dan memperkenalkan budaya masing- masing. Dan menurut saya, ini yang dinamakan komunitas global, walaupun masih taraf anak SMP. Komunitasnya kecil tapi ide "orang-orang dunia jadi satu" sudah sedikit nyata.

source: own collection

Belanda dan Komunitas Global. Negara- negara di Eropa banyak dijadikan tujuan studi masyarakat dunia, tidak ketinggalan Belanda. Banyak pelajar atau mahasiswa dari berbagai belahan dunia datang ke negeri ini untuk menuntut ilmu dan mereka membawa kebudayaan mereka yang beragam. Dari sini, saya rasa kita bisa memulai satu komunitas global. Berinteraksi dengan masyarakat dari negara lain, saling bertukar pikiran dan mendalami kebudayaan masing- masing. Kita bisa berkomunikasi secara terbuka dengan masayarakat dari negara lain, bertukar pikiran tentang hukum, politik, ekonomi, sampai kuliner. Belanda adalah fasilitator. Komunitas global bisa dimulai dari sini.

energi

2009-04-18T17:34:00.004+07:00

Tadi baru baca queenbee diaries tentang mengubah bad day menjadi good day, dan postingannya sangat membantu disaat situasi emosi lagi labil. Beberapa hari ini saya merasa useless. Semua orang complain. Pokoknya useless. Saya ngerasa gak ada yang bisa ngerti. Kadang-kadang saya pengen ada orang bilang "Iya, saya ngerti perasaan kamu" walaupun mereka gak ngerti sama sekali. Energi saya lagi negative.

Saya iri. Iri sama orang yang punya segudang aktivitas. Contohnya Alanda Kariza. Saya iri. Tapi, dengan segudang prestasi dan aktivitasnya dia secara gak langsung memotivasi saya. Memotivasi untuk jadi yang lebih baik. Ini mungkin kedengerannya berlebihan tapi, kalo baca blognya, saya ngerasa ada sedikit energi positive dalam diri saya.

Sekarang lagi baca postingannya Cassey tentang loving your own self. Dan sangat inspiring.

Saya butuh orang- orang seperti ini, yang bisa transfer energi postive gratis tanpa tatap muka :)

Keep blogging people!

good day?

2009-04-09T10:08:00.002+07:00

gahh, I realize that I haven't take chances lately.
I want someone!

jealousy

2009-04-02T20:38:00.006+07:00

"she's my soulmate.." he said, and my heart hurt
:)

--

I thought I was over it

--

sht. I really hate going to campus on friday cause we have Introduction to Sosiology and the lecturer is -.-" not that I hate him or what but he's boring. Sorry. And I'll have accounting presentation too, I doubt it very much if the lecturer's coming. But it's prepared.

That's my youngest sister, her name is Nadira and she's smart. She's turning 2, this April 18th. Sorry for the bad image quality, it's taken by my webcam. She loves webcaming. She's so cute, she got this brownish curly hair. lol.

Rainy day

2009-03-31T15:06:00.003+07:00

courtesy: flickr

It's raining. Thunder and Lightning scares me bad. I hate it.

Hows college? I supposed to have PHB and aplikom. PHB is Pengantar Hukum Bisnis, erm, Introduction to Business Law? is that right? I don't know. But, we didn't go for aplikom. So, I'm home early today. God! I really don't have anything to post. Anw, I'm going to finish my assignments.

weekends

2009-03-28T16:02:00.003+07:00

Time does fly. It's already Saturday. whtevr.
I'm doing my Pkn assignment and watching 21stnight on youtube. What the hell is Pkn? that's the abbreviation from Pendidikan Kewarganegaraan. And what is the purpose of studying that subject? untuk melanjutkan perjuangan bangsa dengan cara menanamkan rasa cinta terhadap tanah air. shit.

I watched Panasonic awards last night. I thought it's gonna be a 'wow' event with all these talented artists and everything but! I found out that Shireen Sungkar won the favorite actress. Shireen? c'mon man! where the hell is Dian Sastro or Marsha Timothy? No offence but I hate her and also the Cinta Fitri series, I bet they gonna make the 4th season. triple sht.

I'm gonna jog tomorrow. I jog every sunday morning from my house to my campus. Time to get healthy people!

ahh I'm feeling sht

2009-03-27T16:48:00.004+07:00

"What can I do to make you care?"

God! I've got nothing to post.

bore

2009-03-20T20:21:00.006+07:00

credits: x, x, x, fd (c)

Picture this. School captain of St Anthony's. Son of a member of parliament. Greatest debater who ever lived. Godd-looking. Popular. Tell me, what more could I want out of life?

For him to be equally in love with me, that's what.

Looking for Alibrandi, Melina Marchetta

Adjust it little bit and you'll meet my Slay 'love of my life' Olay.

the break

2009-03-12T19:36:00.001+07:00

I spent my whole day with one of my best mate. We went to PIM; ate pizza ( I've been craving for this since weeks ago), bought a watch, watched twilight and fooling around. I mean, going to the mall in one of those quite days are just lovely. I avoid going to the mall during weekends, they stressed me out. You don't have to wait in the long queue and you don't have to bump in to people you know. I have trouble when it comes to bumping with people you know. lol. O yeah, I watched twilight for the first time in the cinema. I wasn't that interested in the movie, I'd go for the novels. Beside, I watched the pirated dvd. lmao.

I realized that I've spent my money on clothes and dvds too much. I haven't buy any study books for this semester. lol.

Now, this should be belong to one of those un-important post. Hell yeah.

british hottie

2009-03-04T13:55:00.003+07:00

No, you look cute Dev! except when you do the dances
Haha.

just getting older

2009-02-19T13:08:00.001+07:00

It's nine o'clock
I'm getting tired
I'm sick of all my records
And the clothes I bought today
Am I cracking up
Or just getting older?

Staying in
I can't be bothered
Making conversation
With the friends that I don't know
Am I cracking up
Or just getting older?

And I bet that this is how life
Turns out when you're finally grown
And you know if this my life
Sit around all day on my own

I'm halfway up to the bottom
Of another bottle
Of my next best favourite friend
Am I cracking up
Or just getting older?

You're not cracking up
You're just getting older
We're not cracking up
We're just getting older

Just getting older- Oasis

--

I just turn 18 today, getting older heh?
My birthday is alright, everybody in the house are busy preparing for my cousin's wedding tomorrow and they kinda forget about my birthday. Which is okay, celebrating birthdays isn't our family tradition you know. I don't go to campus today, which make my birthday become lamer. Haha. But I'm happy, everybody send me this funny wishes like, "hope you loose weight this year" or "I pray that you're gonna be slaysolay's girlfriend" Haha. They always know how to put a smile on my face :)

Thank you for all the birthday wishes guys! They really made my day.
I'm an adult now, lol.

stereotype

2009-02-16T20:08:00.001+07:00

I watched some girls laughed their heads off and screaming their lungs out to each other. They're best friends, well close friends maybe. I mean, I know it's quite disturbing and I feel disturbed, but I think that's how react in front of public. They're just having fun. I kinda envy them for having their close friends close to them. Well me? me and my friends are seperated by ocean and strait. Though, one of them go to the same University like me, we're in different faculty.

I still find it hard to adapt in university environment, I don't know why. I don't feel comfortable.

Bring me back to this time.

champagne supernova

2009-02-15T17:48:00.001+07:00

How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?

Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?

Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova in the sky

Wake up the dawn and ask her why
I dream a dream she never dies
Wipe that tear away now from your eye

Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?

Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova

'Cuz we don't believe
That they're gonna get away from the summer
But you and I will never die
The world's still spinning around we don't know why
Why-why-why-why-i-i

How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?

Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannonball
Where were you while we were getting high?

Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova in the sky
Someday you will find me
Caught beneath the landslide
In a champagne supernova
A champagne supernova

'Cuz we don't believe
That they're gonna get away from the summer
But you and I will never die
The world's still spinning around we don't know why
Why-why-why-why-i-i

How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?
Where were you while we were getting high?
We were getting high

19feb

2009-02-14T20:48:00.001+07:00

This image got cropped by blogger, I'll post the whole picture later. Credits: pictures are from lookbookdotnu, brushes owned by streetcarcircus, stocks taken from masterjinn.

And all I need is someone who smiles at me everytime we meet.
Someone who wants to have a short conversation with me about nothing.
Someone who puts smile on my face.

Not someone who comes to me only when they need me.
Not someone who ignores me everytime I walk by.
Not someone who pretends that we've known each other only for 4 months instead of 4 years.

--

Should I wish something for my birthday? I'm not sure if I deserve to get it.

youtube-ing

2009-02-12T14:15:00.001+07:00

When you got nothing to do, just go on youtube. Find out as many stupid, funny, inspiring videos as you can. Well, for me, I like to watch Oasis concerts, cover songs and radio free roscoe.

[edit] no need to mention what my GPA is. [/edit]

8 february

2009-02-08T15:49:00.001+07:00

Lack of update again, I'm sorry.
Tomorrow my 2nd semester start and I haven't got any idea of what my GPA will be.

damn it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Ohh, getting old freaks me out.

sleepless

2009-02-01T21:07:00.001+07:00

That's right. I've been busied with a lot of stuff; my semester marks, organisation and best friends. I didn't get any good sleeps for couple of days.

original image from lookbook and the lyrics are from Adhitia Sofyan's song "Number One"

****

And in one of those my sleepless nights I see you. Maybe it's something, maybe it's nothing. It makes me feel like shit.

Ahh, I'm to sleepy to write.

oh not again

2009-01-24T12:30:00.001+07:00

I know, I know. I made new blog. It's like my bad habit, making new blog and abandoning the previous one. Oh well, I'm freaking bored during this semester break so I think making new blog is kinda fun.

Erm, I'll post some of my photoshop editing since I'm planning to get back to blogskins after a year of vacuum. So, people out there can use it. wtf. No, I'm thinking by posting my PS editing in here I can see how my skill goes. I mean, I haven't use PS for a very long time now. so yeah.

That's it for today. I still need to edit stuff.
cya.

hai boy :)

2008-09-25T17:32:00.000+07:00

hhahha. That's what Mahar said.
I watched Laskar Pelangi and it made me cry TT

gonna watch it again.

lost in the jungle

2008-09-23T20:10:00.000+07:00

I'm so lost right now. Arrived at campus 8.15 and went straight to the library. I didn't attend the Introduction to Microeconomics so did nothing for the first 30 mins. Then start doing assignment up to 11. How great? there's no use of posting what I did today no one cares to read it anyway. Oh well, it's my blog. I felt less empty than yesterday. Got to laugh my head off again with my greatest friends. I miss them like hell, we only got to meet each other once a week only for 30mins. But it worths it.

Supposed to do Introduction to Accounting 1 assignment but I got lost with 'utang' and 'piutang'. Inagurasi tanggal 18 October, I don't think I'm gonna show up.

puasa puasa

2008-09-21T13:00:00.000+07:00

H-9 Lebaran :) and everybody's coming back to Palembang. I'm so happy. Got to see my dearest friend again, and hey! we've plan everything. Hopefully it'll be fun like it used to be. Can't wait.

And mother! i need money.

1. ~~Watch Laskar Pelangi~~ Dhea's paying for me :D
2. Maryamah Karpov Novel, they said it'll be out after the movie. we'll see.
3. Watch Twilight
4. Scrap book
5. Bag, me and dhea planning to get the same bag :D
6. Drawing book

Well, it's all that I can list. We'll see if it gets shorter or longer. I spent too much money already and now I'm broke. Nothing to post really, campus life is fluctuating. But it's great! and please people don't let me change how I feel.

life

2008-09-14T15:28:00.000+07:00

A: Semua tergantung nasib...
B: Usaha pertama, nasib kedua

So right!

My parents force me to take an International Class! meaning I have to go to campus every friday and saturday. Damn it! And, I don't feel as comfortable as I am in regular class ><"

So my schedule:
Monday to Thursday: Inderalaya
Friday to Saturday: Bukit

NO HOLIDAY!! if i take the regular class, I am free for 3 days; friday, saturday and sunday. I want to be in the IC but if the schedule is like this? hell no. I'm really bad in adapting with new environment, it's gonna take me like 6 months to adapt. While everybody already found their besties, I'm still adapting. How great?

I belong to minority, so?

hey you :)

2008-09-07T14:10:00.000+07:00

Halo :)
Hampir sebulan ni g post, sorry yah. After my one week holiday, I was busied with my univeristy preparation (ciiee), you know the orientation stuff? ospek! right.

How was it? Tiring.
Unsri (unversitas sriwijaya) punya dua kampus; satu di bukit (palembang), satunya lagi di Indralaya, biasa disebut dgn layo, yang letakny di kabupaten Ogan Ilir. Wah, beda kabupaten dong? Ya iya lah. Kampus yang ada di palembang untuk anak2 extention dan international class sedangkan yang di Layo untuk yang reguler. Saya? beruntung sekali dapat yang reguler. Dari Palembang ke Layo biasanya makan waktu satu jam. Untungnya, di Unsri disediain transportasi kesana; bus sama kereta. Secara rumah saya deket dengan halte busnya jadi setiap hari pergi naek bus. Busnya enak lho! walaupun g ada AC tapi busnya bersih, supirnya bener2 supir khusus bus Unsri jadi g kebut2an dan kursinya empuk (terbukti pulang-pergi sering ketiduran)! Ongkosnya cuma Rp 5000 tapi waktu ospek kemaren pulangnya di bayarin :)

Puasa pertama dihabisin di Unsri, mengurus apa yang harus diurus. Dan? capek banget! unsri itu kan ~~hutan~~ besar, dari satu gedung ke gedung yang laen kalo jalan lumayang jauh. Untungnya urusan kita cuma di sekitar Lembaga Bahasa dan Perpustakan yang lumayan dekat satu sama lain. Yang enaknya lagi, FE deket bgt sama 2 bangunan itu. Tapi ya masih capek juga. Library is very huge! dan amat sangat melelahkan jalan dari fakultas ke tempat ngurus MPK karena harus muter (contoh orang yang masih kagok di unsri padahal ada jalan yg lebih deket). Pusing deh pokoknya kalo mau dijelasin tata letaknya! Besok baru mulai efektif kuliah; ada bahasa inggris sama agama tapi jamnya tumburan ><" jadi g tau deh mw gimana, liat besok aja. Jadi, maaf bgt kalo sering bolong2 updatenya, masih adaptasi sama keadaan kampus nun jauh yang harus ditempuh dengan pulang pergi bukannya kos :) Anyway, Ramadhan Kareem!

AHA! newcrush newcrush newcrush hha.

hiatus

2008-08-12T20:19:00.000+07:00

I think i'm going on a hiatus :D
i'm going somewhere-only-we-know :D my cousin's getting married. And i'm visiting them. It's a holiday to me. Away from this hot citty. I'll miss you peepos.

bosen

2008-08-11T14:07:00.000+07:00

yapp! benar sekali BOSEN! hampir seminggu dirmh g kmn2 kayak orang bego ternyata membosankan juga :'( anak2 pd sibuk daftar ulang, kenapa juga daftar ulangny beda hari! arggh.
Hari ini, janjiny mw jalan sm dhea, aang & naya tp aang sm nanyny g bisa yaaaudhh di ganti hari. Takutny nnti g ktemu lagi TT ktemunya paling2 pas lebaran! hhhaaaaaaa TT

Anw, nothing happen recently except i'm in love with 3 ads:

1. Close Up, the girl who's blowing the balloon. I love the back sound music.
2. Hexos, the dude who's having dinner with his gf parents. This ad's killing me. It's so hilarious :D
3. Sony ericsson, the one with people take picture and they get into the camera stuff. I'm loving the back sound music of this ad.

ahhh nothing to post. This is such a lame post.
teehee~

dramatis

2008-08-01T19:44:00.000+07:00

LULUS! :D
13 thn sekolah, 1 tahun les PPLS duit ortu abis berjuta2 ahhh lega. Dan saya (agak) yakin klo mungkin pengumuman ini adlh pengumuman terdramatis bagi saya, dhea dan naya sepanjang sejarah (cieh)

Jadi, tanggal 31 Juli 2008 jam 13.00 WIB sebelum saya offline, saya cek websitenya UNSRI dannn doenggg: "PENGUMUMAN SNMPTN AKAN DI UMUMKAN SECARA ONLINE PADA TANGGAL 31 JULI 2008 PUKUL 18.00 WIB" OMFG 5 jam sebelum countdown! I'm schooccckkkkeeed! Terakhir kali ngecek katanya pengumuman tanggal 2 berarti tanggal 1 Agustus dong buka websiteny? ini tanggal 31? I AM SO NOT READY. Dari jam 1 sampe jam 6 adalah waktu tergalau dalam hidupku (dangdut bgt!) :D Jam 6 lewat waktu maghrib untuk palembang, buka puasa cuman minum air putih sm makan kolak pisang 3 sendok OMG! langsung solat(kayakny g khusyuk hhh) dannnn dengan mukenah masih dibadan saya buka unsri.ac.id nista ituu andddd it said: "MAAF, ANDA TIDAK LOLOS ATAU BLA BLA BLA" ngedrop mameenn.

Ternyata abis di cek, saya, naya dan dhea tidak lulus. NANGIS BOMBAY dari jam 6 lewat. Nelfon yang laeenn, afifah dapet tekim, tita sipil, mecan akun blablabla. Telfon rumah g berenti b'dering untuk menghibur saya T-T Dhea sm Naya enak punya cadangan; dhea di depkes, naya di STT, lah saya?? belomm ada. STAN pengumuman tgl 3 september, STIS tanggal 12 Agts. Lagian peluangny g terlalu besar. NAGIS BOMBAY BANGET. Saya dan mama sudah mw daftar di UKM (universitas kebangsaan malaysia) sudah mw siap' daftar buat poltek ahhh. Dalam hatii ucman bisa ngomong "Ya Allah kuatkan lah hambaMu ini.." :'( Jam 8 lewat 20an niatnya mw nntn smallville berharap clark kent dapat menghibur dann mukjizat itu datang hhha . Naya nelpon sekitar jam stgh 9 dengan suara bergetar (hha) "DANG (it's bengkulunese for big sister or brother), kw tu lulus!" disini kaki saya sudah tidak bertulang. "COBA KW BUKA SNMPT.AC.ID KAK AUL BUKA KTNY KITA LULUS BLA BLA BLA" lgsg di buka dann....LULUS MAMEN! Bapak langsung sujud syukur hha :D It just so happy to see my parents statisfied for what i've got. Dan ternyata saya, naya dan dhea LULUS SNMPTN; saya manajemen UNSRI, naya ilmu keperawatan UNSRI, dhea kelautang UNDIP.

Alhamdulillahirobbil alamiin.
Tadi dhea bilang "MUNGKIN KITO MMG DAK LULUS, TP ALLAH NGASIH KITO LULUS!" hha. I don't care.Gara2 nangis bombay dasyar trus tiba2 seneng naudzubillah kepala saya langsung pusing trus seharian kan g makan jadinya muntah hhha :D kt mama itu akibat dari saya shock but whatever it is I'm freaking happy. Mungkin saya ngeliatny kepagian ato apalah jadi masih eror. Tapi tadi subuh, dah di buka dan ada! langsung di print takut ilang hha. Alhamdulillah, sudah registrasi online jadi tinggal bayar! ohhhh I'm an university student right now. And there's just something so excited about it that make me can't sleep last night.

:D

an officer and a gentleman

2008-07-25T20:49:00.000+07:00

mind the title.

Really sorry for nida. Some stupid-unhearted burglars broke into her house and took her new toyota kulger, plasma tv and a laptop. What a poor little darling :'( Ohh and I can't wait to see your new baby brother nidnid! Send me the picture as soon as he born.

For the past few days, I've been wondering why people get 'the prize' when i'm the one that work my butt off for it. I know God has something for me but if we ignore that factor, this thing happens a lot. I realize it since i was in yr 12 (i'm graduated baby! :D) And it doesn't feel good. *sigh*

sabar fid, there's always something behind everything. God saves something great at the last and i'm sure of tht.

forward

2008-07-14T08:47:00.000+07:00

I don't really believe in my answers in the SNMPTN, i didn't do good and I'm sure of that. I kinda messed up the whole things *sigh* Maka dari itu, saya mau ikut STAN hhha :) tau sih peluangnya kecil tapi coba dulu deh. Kalo nasib gmn? amiin. Today's plan: ngambil ijazah dan ke NF (hare gene masih les) hha I want to pass so bad. lalalla :D

just a quick update.

re-start

2008-07-12T15:57:00.000+07:00

Gosh! I hate it when people force me to do something. I feel like punching them. And will you stop calling me? cause i won't pick up my phone. Oh, I forgot, Happy Birthday to Tania! I messaged you on July 8th but i'm not sure you got it or not. Hopefully you got it. Anyway, I've deleted about 5 blogs from this account (oh yeah people I have more than 5 blogs here!) and i only have 2 blogs now; this one and another one (i need the other layout's code from that blog).

why did i make a new blog?
Because I deleted my previous blogs lol. Nahhh I just wanna start new thing (yea right)
Ooohh people Aji is eliminated damn it! I'm not gonna watch Indonesian Idol anymore :( LMAO