Days that are over

Do you know this place?


Finally updating this blog! Actually, I update CYBERSPACE when I'm not updating this one. It's more private. Ah yes, I changed the color of my blog. People said that it was too dark.

Anyway, how's my mid-exams? It went pretty good actually. And as usual, group study! We always have group study when it comes to IC's subjects. Yes, the one that use English. On Friday, we spent like 3 hours in canteen. And, what are you doing, Fida? Studying? erm, actually we sandwiched that between eating, gossiping and copying notes, ha. And a day before, the guys plus Fidel 'studied' at my house. Like usual, it was full of chatting and chattering. We're checking everybody's statuses on FB and checking crushes pictrures. Ubber fun.

Ahh, I still have mid-exams next week. Wish me luck!

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Because, no matter how close you are to a person or how well that person knows you. Actually, he/she doesn't really know you that well. You are the one that knows who you really are. Stuff what people said, go follow your heart.

Being happy is happy!

Okay, I tried to post this since an hour ago and I just got rejected by blogger few minuets ago. Very fun! Blame this Telkomflash, it's effing slow.

Anyway, this probably is going to be my last post for this month, since next week my mid semester exams and I need to catch up fast. So, stop the bragging. I'm really sorry how I love to brag about my life. It becomes my new habbit :S

So, I decided to list things that make me happy, some of them. Here we go.

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Things that make me happy:

• Thinking that I'm going to meet Nida next January! So exciting! I hope the calender academic is right.
• Having small trivia talks with friends. For example, Doraemon's original colour is yellow and he actually has horns.
  
• Listening to Coldplay's oldest album: Parachutes. Ahh, brings back so much memories.
• Knowing that UNSRI's bus driver are actually concern about students safety.
• Seeing babies smile!
• There are a lot of things need to be discovered and mastered.
• Experiencing new stuffs.
• Eating rujak in campus! yummy!
• Friday classroom. I really love the room.
• I'm starting to save money and going to use it when I finish college. Oh, plans and plans.
• Making people happy.
• To know that people actually care about you. Bunch of them.

There are a lot of things that make me happy and I don't need to mention it all. We all have reasons to be happy, no matter who we are. Don't let a problem or person take away your happiness. We live in this world for only a short time then, make it worth, fill it with your happiness. Now find out your reasons and be happy! Cause we have the right to be.

Smile! It's free :)

Bap bap bap

Oh no, I see,
A spider web is tangled up with me,
And I lost my head,
The thought of all the stupid things I'd said.

Oh no, what's this?
A spider web, and I'm caught in the middle,
So I turn to run,
The thought of all the stupid things I've done,

And I never meant to cause you trouble,
I never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
And oh no, I never meant to do you harm.

Oh no, I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here am I in my little bubble,

Singing I, never meant to cause you trouble,
And I, never meant to do you wrong,
And I, well if I ever caused you trouble,
Oh, no I never meant to do you harm.

They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me,
They spun a web for me.

Trouble- Coldplay

Today I spent my time helping Nisa buying and assembling her new cupboard and fan for her room. She just move to the dorm, she stays with Via. Very fun lerh since we are amateurs.
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My life is so boring, very monotone. I desperately need something new, something exciting. And this semester is very gloomy, everybody said that. What's wrong with us? Campus is not even better. I go there just to waste money and make sins by making bad remarks on anyone I see. Hmpf. I didn't mean to do that, I'm serious. And, I've been making mistakes too. Well, it means you're still living, isn't? Blame this swinging moods, erm, no wait, blame me! I belong to the productive age, but I don't produce anything while my friends busy making money with their businesses. I need to make something, ideas?

And online life is boring too, which explain my not-updating-enough and blogwalking a lot. I'm sorry. I'll relink you, sha.

That's all. I am a bore, thankyou.

Finally I understand

I really hate going to Indralaya, I don't know why they built university in the middle of vilages. It's very isolated. And currently, I'm hating that place. If it's not for my both parents and education's sake, I won't go to that place. Third semester is very different, my feeling toward certain things is very different as well. Maybe it's just the growing up, blergh I don't know.

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I burst to tears last week, I felt like I've been carrying this burden. Very heavy. And now I feel lot better, though there are lots of stuffs that need to be fixed and to start over, I'm doing fine. And because of that, I finally realized that I've been wrong for the past 3 years. I think, since I came back to Indonesia in 2006, I always tried hard to make everyone happy with everything I did and decisions I made. I've done them for people's happiness not mine. And look where am I ended up at?

It's like, this is not where I am supposed to be. I made plan A and B, but ended in G, you know what I mean? How about my passion of becoming a doctor? haha, never actually said that loud eh? no matter how scared I am with blood, I want to be a doctor. I tried once, I failed, and stop trying. That is wrong. I'm scared of failure which is fcuking stupid, I'm such an idiot. People learn from their failures idiot! I blame myself for that. I follow what people said, I listen too much to what they said. I try to make them happy.

Now, with everything I've ended up with, I have to face and enjoy them and try my best to survive. I won't go with the flow anymore. I go with my heart. I take people advices and filter them first, I do everything for my happiness not theirs. Yes, I am selfish. But, I think it's time to save myself (Quoted from: Saving Francessca, Melina Marchetta).

Here we go, let's roll back

Sometimes, beautiful things that happened in the past make us stuck at where we are right now.
We couldn't move on cause we keep on thinking about it.

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Then I tell myself, if it never happened, I would have been like this, I would never done this, it would never happened, and... Ahh, there just so much that need to be fixed. So much to regret. But then, when we regret we feel bad about ourselves, because things happened because we made it to happened. Now where we are right now, I feel unease. I try to blend with it but mother, it hards.

Sometimes I think the weather knows how I feel (yeah right, fida), this morning it was dark and raining. Perfect.

ahh, there we go my melancholy mood.

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Oh hey, I keep my promise, postcard pictures! Cute eh?

I walk down the hall

I begin my third semester with a very bad start, I must say. Been trouble, not being brave enough, having too much fun, and the list goes on. And I've changed so much, I can feel it. And, erm, it's not in a good way. Oh wells, selama kita hidup kita akan terus berubah? is it right? I hate to be an easily-influenced type of a person.

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7,6 Richter Scale (RS) Earthquake stroke Padang yesterday and another 7 RS earthquake stroke Jambi this morning. Earthquakes stroke Sumatera! And I am scared, that it might strike Palembang. I am scared of dying, I'm not prepared, ha.

P.S. oh, I finally received Ied postcard. I participate this project, they send Ied postcards for free. Now, I feel like sending one. The card is effing cute, I'll post the pic in the next post.